Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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