So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize