i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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