I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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