I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
