Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.