Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.