the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
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can u get pink eye on your cock?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness