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i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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