It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.