my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.