So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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