yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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