"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
