It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
