Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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