He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I see more hoeing in ur future
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
