he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize