is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
