I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
