I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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