She's JV to your varsity
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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