Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
