awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
