u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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