i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
