i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
