I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
