I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
