I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How does it feel to date your dad?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
