I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
