Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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