everyone is single if you try hard enough
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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