How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
