Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize