okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
