nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
