I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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