Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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