I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
