my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
