some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
