my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
