She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
