Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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