I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
