its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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