How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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