i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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