O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
