...so i touched it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
