Don't you send me to vm
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
