i already hear my dad disowning me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
