I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
