we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
