what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
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You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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