Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
