Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
