I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
