Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
