Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
