when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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