One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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