Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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