After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
