i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
