Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
