oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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