Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
