I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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