I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
