Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
