'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Fuck appropriateness.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
