she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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