Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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