Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
