I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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