I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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